Agony Aunt

Women dating older men. Most of the problems that people come to a reputable, qualified agony aunt about is love and often they are women who are having problems because the feelings they have for a guy are not being returned. This is one reason why I sometimes warn people against going out with someone older. A woman who is aged at least thirty should be able to sort out what she wants out of life and work out how to get it, if she then decides to go out with a man who is a fair bit older than her she should be able to deal with that too. The problems arise when the female is much younger and has very little knowledge of romance. Usually it is her first big love affair and it has knocked her off her feet. She believes this guy is the one and only even if she has only known him for five minutes and knows very little about him. The guy is the one who should know better and is taking advantage of her and her lack of experience in these things. If he really cared about her he would warn her and watch out for her. Hopefully her parents are around and she can talk to them and they can but they can only do this if she tells them about things and if they are caring and protective.

Many females get together with an older guy and have a satisfying, fulfilling and very happy relationship with them. But when one goes wrong people tend to like the idea of assuming it is because of the age gap, even when it was nothing to do with it.

Some age gaps stand no chance of working out at all, not as a serious or long term relationship. Take a teenager of fifteen who says she has fallen madly in love with a guy of nineteen, that might work. But if the guy is twenty nine you have to wonder how come he is interested in a girl who is not yet a woman. It may be that he is shy but it is usually because he wants someone he can mould into what he wants and he knows he cannot do that with an older woman. Some older guys like the idea that the younger female is submissive and lets him make her decisions for her and fule her. If the girl is fifteen and the guy is fifty then he definitely has weird motives and she is too naive and unworldly for him. I once went out with an older guy who expected me to allow him to choose my meals in the restuarants and tell me what colours and clothes to wear! If the woman is looking to live with or get married to the guy then that gives her even more reason to be careful about the age gap, just as she should be cautious about one hundred and one other things too. If the gap difference is the only thing then ask yourself if you could fall for a younger guy and if not then surely it is better to have a few great years with the older the older one than loads of years with a wrong one or on your own? Never decide solely on age, put all of the different facets together before making a decision.  Women dating older men.

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