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Get a date online, With more and more people using computers.... often for hours every day, it has become normal, quicker, easier, more practical and cheaper to find people to get dates through your computer rather than by meeting them through clubs, hobbies, at work or through friends. Many have given up trying to find people to date in the old fashioned ways because of it. Charlotte Craig, Ask Agony Aunt, tells you how to get a date on your computer in a way that is effective and safe. Feel free to share your comments and questions with others below, but remember there is also the excellent dating forum and hundreds of problem pages you can use too.  If you would like 1 2 1 advice on ANY situation please feel free to contact our qualified experts.

Dating sites - There are two types of dating sites. The vague ones with loads of members where anyone can join. These are available as paid or unpaid sites. Then the other type of dating site is that which is specifically for a certain type, such as ONLY for bisexuals, ONLY for people aged over 50, ONLY for those are very keen on nudism, only those who are into kinky sex. There really is a dating site to suit all.

When it comes to choosing between a free site and a paid for site beware. The free sites seem inviting but a close look shows that you tend to get more of the riff raff on there, those who are unemployed and unemployable, those who have a lot of health problems, those that are married and those who are just after sex. It is far better to join a paid for site because you do get someone who takes it more seriously AND you do not waste time chatting to people who are not really good enough for you, the users, liars, predators , losers, cheats etc. With something as important as finding dates people should not mind spending some money, that makes a lot more sense than NOT spending money and then getting lots of time wasters. Beware of the free dating sites that are not really free. Where you can sign up for free but are not able to read or send messages unless you pay.

Ask agony aunt had a good look at many of the sites on offer, it took a laot of time, and the free ones did not impress us. Many of them get you to sign up and then tell you it costs to contact people, others have very few members or the quality of the members is very iffy.

What are the advantages to signing up with a dating site over finding someone by chatting online? The main advantage is that you fill in a profile and then you wait. You should not have to invest a lot of time as from then. If somebody who is a potential date comes you way you can chat to them and find out if they are, but you will not have loads of pointless chats that waste your time until you find one. Also, a lot of men who are just after casual sex or who are married are more likely to try to avoid filling in profiles on sites, even when free, you are more likely to meet such men when just chatting in a chat room or online. It is far easier for them to lie about their details when they just chat than when they have to fill in a form. I know from personal experience that when men try to chat you up online they often try to avoid telling you details such as their age and try to find out what age you are looking for so that they can then pretend to be that age. If you go to a dating site and you make it clear that you only want to meet guys who are aged 20 - 30 then guys of 18 and 45 cannot pretend to be that age when they chat.

There is a huge and sometimes understandable pull to meet people who live a long way away. My advice is this. If you know a guy who has to move a long way away due to things that are not his fault or choice, such as his job, then if you get on great and like each other a lot stay in touch and see how it goes, but do not put all your eggs in one basket. But if you are thinking of meeting a total stranger who lives a long way away then why bother? Unless that person is exceptional and really seems to be everything you were looking in a partner then leave it and find someone who is much nearer and/or who you can see a lot more. Most relationships have their draw backs but to get into one with a stranger that already has a huge drawback is rather pointless and silly if it can be avoided. It also depends on the sort of person YOU are. If you can be laid back about it and live each day for today and forget about the future maybe it is fine for you, but most people would tend to worry or become insecure and miss the person and feel that in a way it is not enhancing their life it is hindering it and causing more heartache than happiness.

Decide on the sort of person you want to date.... i.e. if you are 21 you may decide that the guy can be aged 18 - 25 but not a day older. Make a list of must haves and deal breakers and things which you do not want and stick to it.  Be realistic and look at it from the guys' point of view too. If you are 60 then it would be daft to say you want a guy who is 21 and wonder why nobody is interested!

Now remember that people online tend to lie a lot or leave out things that they would rather you do not know. If you tell a guy you are 18 and then you ask him how old he is he may tell you he is 19 just because he thinks that will get you to chat to him and meet him. It is better NOT to say your age or any idea of what age you like and just ask his age and then when he tells you decide if that is alright with you. Beware of the ones who are in a relationship and pretending not to be. They are usually the ones who do not put a photo on their profiles, are vague about their address, find it hard to meet evenings and weekends, they might try to get around telling you they are in a relationship by telling you they work long hours or travel a lot with work and want to talk about sex very quickly and meet very quickly without getting to know you properly first, and generally tend not to care too much what your background is or your hobbies are because to them it is just about sex, not a long term relationship or compatability. 

Even if what they tell you is true and they genuinely do travel with work or work long hours there are a lot of women who do not want a relationship with someone like that, and that might be why they are still available. They might be asking you to make do with a long distance relationship, something a lot of people would be wary about agreeing to.

Get a date online