Agony Aunt
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Dealing with Jealousy
Dealing with jealousy. How you deal with it depends very much on if YOU are the jealous one or if you are having to suffer from the behaviour of someone you know who is jealous. Either they are jealous of something about you and wish they were more like you OR they are the possessive and insecure type who get jealous if you are spoken to by other people or speak to other people who might be interested in you. In severe cases someone would want to imprison you in your home, monitor your every contact and movement and even get upset if you just look at someone they think is interesting to you.
It can stem from someone being lacking in confidence to the point that they do not believe it when someone seems to like them or love them so they become suspicious and virtually paranoid about everything. Where they go wrong is the method they choose for dealing with it. They should see that they are the one with the pronblem and they are the one that needs to change. It is no good them just trying to change their partner or the person who gets their attention. If they lack confidence to the extent that they doo not trust their partner and make their partner's life a misery then they must start dealing with it by having counselling or therapy to change their thought patterns and behaviour. If they do not then the person they are keen on will get so fed up with them questionning them, not trusting them, watching them or monitoring them that they lose them anyway. Then they would say "well that proves I was right to be suspicious" when it actually proves that their claustrophobic behaviour drove them away.
The first step is for the person who is worrying about their partner not really loving them to admit that the worry is imagined or magnified and not normal, the second step is for them to get help to change. They need to become more balanced in their thoughts so that they do not get in a state every time the person they like or love is busy or talks to someone else. That means being confident so that they no longer feel threatened and feel jealousy.
When someone is envious of what others own, i.e. a person who is homeless is envious of those who have a lovely huge house, then there is no point to this at all! The homeless person may have been unlucky and the person they are envious of may have been much luckier and won the lottery, but feeling envious about it will only make them feel worse. The best thing for them to do is either get their head around the way their life is and make the most of it, or think of ways to improve it and make it better.
Dealing with jealousy.
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