Affair secret. Having an affair can be quite exciting, the idea of slipping away to meet up with the other person, wanting to be with them, to hold them and kiss them and have sex with them, finding ways to text them or phone them. It can make you feel wanted, young and keep you on your toes. But when you have to keep it a secret it is also a strain and it can be a huge worry. For those who are not good at keeping things hidden or who like to share what they get up to it can be a huge difficulty.
Women are probably the worse off for this as it is usually women who like to get together with their friends and gossip about their love lives. This is one reason why the problem page agony aunt is popular. Agony aunts give someone a way they can share their experiences and get support and advice without having to worry about it ending up going all around town or having everyone at work or in the family finding out. But it is also great because the professional advice columnist does not judge or lecture, criticise or find fault. They also are on your side. You can keep it between just you and them safe in the knowledge that they care about what is best for you and what will make you happy. Can you imagine if you went to your husband's sister about your illicit affair? She would either be looking out for her brother and castigating you for cheating on him or it would leak out and get back to him.
To get into such a relationship with someone you fall in love with can be very difficult because you often long to spend more time with them and not have to see them in a discreet way.
If you are thinking of getting into a secret romance then remember that after a while the initial excitement dies down to nothing. Then what? Will you then wish you had not started this? Will you want to end the affair? Will the other person just accept it if you tell them that? Is it possible it will get more complicated and you will want to be with your lover all the time? Will they want that too? Look at why your marriage went wrong and ask yourself how you can be sure the same thing will not happen again.
The easiest secret affairs are those that are long distance. When the other person lives very near you or is single while you are busier than them that is when complications and problems usually arise. If it is just sex you are after it is far easier to sort out your marriage than it is to find someone who wants to meet you on the sly and who does not let you down. If you still think it is best to have a third person in your relationship remember ti will damage your existing relationship and it will not solve what is actually wrong with that relationship. One day that second relationship will end and you will still be unhappy.
Affair secret
Expert Charlotte Craig
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